tomorrow

 Tomorrow is the Day

of the

Official Diagnostic Test

Mixed Emotions

Would LOVE for them to say that they see absolutely no signs of Autism.  Then in the same choke-filled breath I want the official diagnosis - bring it on - I am ready for Autism.

 

Ready to know what makes my son different from his peers - ready to start the services and therapies - ready to be his biggest advocate - ready for the highs and the lows.

My son will thrive and amaze everyone who knows him. 

Then again - I am scared shitless.

Scared for his future. Scared that other kids will laugh at him.  Scared that he won't be able to find the words he is searching for.  Scared that he won't make a "real" friend. 

Scared Scared Scared

So scared that people will only see his Autism and they won't see my Al.

This sucks.