midwife

Oh, how I heart my midwife.

I feel so much more at ease/peace with Al's arrival and relived to know that my next pregnancy will not be considered high risk. Al was officially born 3.5 days before the cut-off, which allows me to stay with the midwife team for any future pregnancies. Also, she believes since I was able to carry My full term that Al's pre-term status was not due to anything out of the ordinary. She laid out the plan for my next baby; I will be monitored starting at 20weeks and followed closely.

I just know... the third time a charm.

Reflecting Al

While visiting my new nephew in the hospital I was hit by a tidal wave of emotions regarding Al's birth. Every feeling came at me full force and I am still overwhelmed by our journey. These were by far the toughest moments of my life thus far.

The NICU

around the white room

mothers rocking with empty arms

pumping for baby

accepting only from tubes

no cooing and sighing

alarm ringing buzzing ringing buzzing

no breastfeeding or snuggles

temperatures not holding

machines inhaling exhaling

silence humming

plastic walls dividing my touch from yours

now breath by breath

you learned on your own

stronger each day then the one before

I am thankful everyday

for the day you came home

It's been since my late teens that I have written any poetry and this was a bit rhymey even for me. I feel super rusty; but I needed this outlet. I don't want to relive these moments -detail by detail, only piece by piece. I know I didn't really allow myself to feel this while it was happening. Feeling it now is very emotionally and raw for me. I can't go back and say that I would change anything about our journey; I did what I thought best for my Al baby. My only wish is that I was more willing to accepted support because I know now that I didn't need to do this alone.

new addition

B Thomas
I couldn't be any happier for J, J, and E!

Welcome to the world little man.
We are so glad you made a super smooth entrance!

photo credit: sara briggs

ten on ten

http://tenontenphotojournal.blogspot.com/

Take a photo once an hour for ten consecutive hours on the tenth of each month. Document a snapshot of your life and find beauty among the ordinary things of your day!

Mother's Day
(end to beginning)

dinner

making My's dress

new couch nap

family

it's this week

mrs. bitterle

twenty toes

my favorite hands

creeping phlox

farmers market

it's about time

Mom/Mimi

Cake

Family

I am so happy to be a MOM

the 8 meme

I borrow this from Janana Bee and thought to myself this seemed like a great way to past the last hour.

Let's begin...

8 Things I'm Looking Forward to:
Massage appointment
Mother's Day -gardening
Disney vacation -Feb 10'
Having another baby
Finishing the bathroom remodel
My Dr's appointments w/o little ones
Sneaking to the fabric store after appointment
Sewing new little project for love ones

8 Things I did yesterday:
Woke a baby -to rush off to soccer practice
Watched my daughter NOT play tiny tots soccer
Was late "Snack Mom" for the wrong soccer team
Nursed a baby while daughter was NOT playing soccer
Wrapped very special b-day presents
Was late to work
Ate kinda gross leftovers for lunch and dinner
Watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall before bed...had all sorts of naked man dreams

8 Things I wish I could do:
Sew my daughter a super cute dress -attempting this soon
Quit my job
Moved to Lake Michigan
Buy a Minivan
Become a ED doctor
Have 5 plus children
Visit my all my very bestest loves out of state
Finish my "to do" list for the week

8 Shows I watch:
America's Next Top Model
America Idol
America's Most Wanted -kidding, I wanted to keep w/ a theme
The Office
Intervention
Flight of the Concords -free HBO
Baseball
Motherhood

8 Tags: sorry only had 6
Laura
Dilly Dee
Jill
Brenda
Amber
My girl Hazel

Please don't feel forced.... just killing time here.

weight loss blog...what the *#@!

Please note...this blog was not suppose to be a weight loss journal! I truly apologize for any inconvenience this may have cause you while manifesting my skinniness. If you are looking for pictures of my most adorable children they will be along some day soon. For now, brief comments on my weight loss is all I have time for...stay tuned.

May 1st goal....COMPLETED....total lost 18lbs.

Also, loving Cliff -almond cherry...goodness.