insert foot here ...

 I've made a mistake

wording and vent

on a previous post

I shouldn't have mentioned

spectrum/function

always hearing from professionals

"high or low"

comparing children

The spectrum doesn't matter

it was not meant

as a judgment

I was upset

that I have put so much

effort into my

playgroup

only to have no one show up

 for the first two weeks

then ... to watch Al just

play all alone

while the older crowd went to play

I had really high hopes for the playgroup

to find a kiddo 

just like my Al

a match

a friend 

I am learning

that there will be

similarities and differences

on and off spectrum

just as no two kids will be alike

neither is autism

there are strengths and weakness in everyone

everywhere on the spectrum

my post was not intended to

measure your child or compared them to mine

it was truly me

just trying to find where we

 "fit-in"

please know how truly

sorry i am if had offended you

Gulp-Sigh-Tear-Breathe

I've been struggling with where WE belong

We started our playgroup

 Al sat all alone in the sandbox

the group was much older than I had expected
also with different needs on the "spectrum"

Same Day

Now on to ... gymnastics

Al has moved up from tiny tumblers to boy's level one

all neuro-typical boys

Al is all over the place

can't wait in line - jumping into pits - not following directions

"semi-typical" boy behavior

tough as a Mom to sit on the bleachers and know ...

I can feel what the other parents are thinking

"Wow, that kids is really out of control"

--never mind-- 

They weren't thinking

I actually heard that or something very close to it
being said right behind me
as Al took cuts once again

I want to scream

thanks for talking shit about my kid

sorry your kid had to wait one extra second

because my kid couldn't

I feel stuck

on one hand it's nice hearing that Al doesn't seem autistic

he MUST be very HIGH functioning 

on the other hand --- it sucks hearing that he

"Seems so NORMAL or doesn't

 look Autistic"

He is normal - He is my son

Gulp- Tear -Gulp -Sigh

Breathe -- over it

  

more therapy!?

we now have ... drum roll ...

eight different therapy appointments per week

and two social skills group

for the remainder of the summer

i know - you are silently judging me

it's too much and why am i putting my child through this

why and am i putting myself through this

this is the kindergarten crunch

we have a limited amount of time before school

to give him the very best start

this is what was recommended by each of our physicians

the most important fact

Al is enjoying himself 

 looks forward to seeing his teachers and therapist

each therapy is "play based"

he is gaining confident and feeling successful

acquirng new skills and learning so much

Happy Al = Happy Momma

(the rest of the details will work themselves out)