officially official

The news is out

it's officially official

Autism

Now, I am in the horrible position of defending a diagnosis I didn't even want in the first place.  Starting with the fact that Al is "high functioning".  We work with him every single day.  I am his therapy - fine motor development - speech and language - everyday to keep him from being miles behind his peers.  We've been just able to keep his head above water the last three years.  I deserve some help - advice - trained professionals - I want him to succeed and not just tread water his whole life.

I also don't want to explain how my son is autistic or what qualifies him as autistic. I don't want to tell you that Al can spin endlessly or he can't find the words multiple times a day or loves to crash over and over and over again.  I don't want to tell you he only uses lines from movies so he can contribute something to a conversation.  Because, your first reaction is to compare him to another child that you know that is "neuro-typical" and tell me this is normal behavior.  To reassure - to soothe -- to tell me everything is going to be alright.  I can really only begin to tell you the things that Al does differently than other children -- these are only pieces.  I now know first hand why Autism chooses the puzzle piece motto.

Al has now been seen by at least nine different specialty doctors and has had over 15 different IQ style test performed - we have answered piles upon piles of paperwork and questionnaires about our son.  I feel like I almost tried to disproved this diagnosis the last month -- trust me, I hated this label beyond words -- but my heart keeps leading me here.